Monday, 22 February 2016

What Happen to Me?



Assalamualaikum warahmatullah…
In The Name of Allah The Most Beneficent and Merciful… 

                I’m back with a soul filled with the spirit of MUET and I though I’m starting to have an addiction to write in this blog again. Eheh. Eventhough my grammar is worst, I’ll still write this post in English. Is it a good or bad thing? Can’t figure out bout that yet. We’ll see bout that in my MUET result. Hahaha… However, this is the things which haunting me lately.

                I’m scare. Scare of the upcoming future. There are about 2 months left before I left PPPU and I’m starting to feel an attachement to the people around me. I know it sounds weird to worry about that but it is not as simple as others for me. It is a hurt thing to be think about. The block that I built before slowly cracked and crushed. I want to build a new one but I don’t have enough strength to do that again. 

                It’s a scare thing when you are not the old you anymore. It’s hurt when you realize that you can’t be alone anymore. It’s not their fault. It’s totally mine. Yes, it’s mine. I can’t really put together all things from my mind into alphabets but I’ll try. What is this feeling? I don't know but it give a big effect on me.

It’s the time when you feel dependence on others in most of things you want to do although it is a simple thing. The time when you couldn’t be independent as usual. The time when you feel alone and lonely.  That is the point where the history will be repeated but with a bigger scale. The previous memories put me in tears for as long as I can remember several months. From my prediction, this memories will haunt me twice as longer than the one before.

I  just pray this feeling  will slowly fade away and Allah will give me a peace and calmness of mind. I hope I can accept it when the time comes and let it go with an open heart. Let me spend all of the time left in the best way. Surely, I’ll try my best without the presence of the block. If Allah wills. Pray for me friends.

Assalamualaikum…
               

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